We have been here in Wisconsin for eleven years now. We have celebrated the Days of the Dead by visiting gravesites since 2019. I don’t have a journal entry for 2021 as my daughter’s water broke when we got back from our rounds; the grand guy made his appearance on this date 4 years ago.

His latest fascination is with The Hobbit and dinosaurs, which are kin to dragons. My daughter carried on the tradition of making fabulous birthday cakes (one started by my mother), and made the Grand Guy Smaug’s lair. It was delicious!

We started visiting our dead early yesterday. It rained a little, but for Wisconsin in November, was quite nice.

We began our rounds with a visit to Summa and Bucka. The kids ran around the gravestones and we snacked and chatted, deciding that GG#2 has Bucka’s eyes, except his were blue and hers are hazel. Bringing photos of the dead is part of the ritual. GG#1 may be the only one in her school to wear her art project in a culturally appropriate place.

We spent winter holidays with Klink and Harriette for the 16 years we lived in St. Paul; they were extra grandparents to our girls and we were children they never had. Klink died shortly after we moved to Maine. Michael drove back to visit Harriette every six weeks. She was living in her own house when we moved to Wisconsin after Clyde died. I held her hand as she died. They are all so much a part of us still.

Harriette would always say, “Oh, I sound like Hartwig” if she asked how much something cost or where we got it. It wasn’t until we began visiting the Cushing graveyard that I figured out that he was her uncle. In an odd way, a part of Hartwig lives on with us.

We go to Cushing to visit Cleone (Nonie) and Ralph. They used to live in Elk River, MN, which is also where there is a county jail. Many of my clients were kept there pre-trial. When I would go to visit the jail, Michael would drive me and then go and visit Ralph and Cleone. Michael and his brothers would spend time at Ralph and Cleone’s as boys, going fishing and running rampant. They were dear friends with Summa and Bucka. Nonie brought Ralph back to Cushing with her in death to be with family (note the extra photos!) We always bring them Manhattans, which is what Summa said they served at holiday parties.

Here’s to you, Nonie and Ralph. Aunt Harriette told so many stories of her and Nonie going fishing or picking berries. Cleone died years before Harriette did, but she was always by Harriette’s side.

The little ones play peekaboo, hide and seek, and run races. Holidays are always much more joyful with children creating chaos. I can only imagine all of the laughter shared by generations that came before. We may only visit once a year, but so many live in our hearts all year round.